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What's In Your Toolbox?
Healing is a continuous process. The truth is that the world does not always offer a safe space to thrive and heal peacefully. This means we must always be prepared to enter onto the path of healing at any time to rescue ourselves from the impact of trauma. Do you have the tools to save yourself? Doctors have equipment and machines to help with treating patients. EMT's have special tools to help save lives as they transport them to the hospital. Therapists and life coaches use sound therapy, light therapy, journaling and more intangible tools like mindfulness meditation and even hypnosis to help clients. As a self-healer what tools do you have in your toolbox?
Let's be honest. Even if you are in therapy or seeing a life coach, life happens when not in session. Also, let us not ignore the fact that the stigma of mental health and just simply reaching out for help still exists. However you decide to step towards change, you are taking on the role as a healer and student of self. This means that you must build knowledge and educate yourself by doing research to better understand what ails you. Just as the professions mentioned above had to attend college and fill their mental libraries to become most effective at what they do, you must also take a seat in the classroom of the mind and conduct your research. In addition, you will also benefit from having the right tools to help you maintain your progress and to heal over and over again. I specialize in creating intellectual materials and tools that help you heal throughout the course of your life as many times as you need. See below for classes, and tools you can use to become an expert in your own self-healing.
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An Open Letter to Self-Healers and Generational Trauma Cycle Breakers
This journey of life that you have been on has not been easy. Loss, disappointment, unexpected changes and the overall feeling of general anxiety over what will happen next can be a lot to handle. You cry, yell, get angry and sometimes even project and you regret it all after it is said and done. Some even learn to cope and bury the trauma deep down until it his hidden in darkness. I understand you. I hear you and empathize with you. Life is full of uncertainties, and this can generate fear, especially in these post-pandemic times. This can paralyze you and can keep you repeating cycles that hinder you from growth and reaching the goals that you set for yourself. The only thing to be certain of is how you control your emotions, manage your thoughts and, most importantly, how much effort that you choose to put into recreating your life and reprogramming your mind. The only question now is: Are you willing to do the work?
Throughout my life, I have dived deeply into understanding myself, dissecting my mind, shedding family traumas, and understanding and feeling my way through the cycles of life. I granted myself permission to experience the pain and unpleasant emotional affects as I transmuted it into love, growth and wisdom. My journey to understanding self and learning the art of healing began when I was 15 years old. Growing up, I always questioned what influences us, why do we behave in the ways we do and what are the covert and overt forces around us that seek to shape all of these things both seen and unseen. Outside forces are always at play and working, and this can hinder us from seeing ourselves authentically. Do you know who you are? Not who your parents told you what you should be based on their own interpretations of you. Not according to your peers, social circles, in-laws, or any organizations or affiliations that you may belong to. The values, ideologies, and worldviews often tells us who we are before we get a chance to look in the mirror and see ourselves through our own eyes completely untainted and free of influence. The viewpoints, value systems, and concepts of ourselves and the world can enforce us to develop lives that do not suit us. This leads to an overall sense of dis-satisfaction with life and feelings of confusion of what our purpose is which can be breeding ground for depression, anxiety, low-self-esteem and an overal sense of disconnection both within ourselves and the world. We all have a valuable spirit with a purpose in this life on Earth in which it seeks to carry out. When we do not honor that purpose or become distracted by people, places and things that leads us away from it, that is the moment where we begin to feel dis-ease set in.
Personally, I fought through the process of discovering my authentic self. It is not at all simple but worth every moment of finding out who you are and re-discovering the power you've had all along. I battled through the confusion, and went to war not just with my shadow self, but also with my light. My light wanted to burn for me, not for others, not for money, success or achievement. It yearned for purpose and alignment with my impersonal self. My shadow wanted to be understood, decoded and given room to grow and even play in healthier ways instead of trying to be shamed, subdued or ignored. Isolation was a close friend as people failed to relate, understand or support my process. I had to question everything that I knew, removing what did not feel true to me, and modifying what needed to stay to ensure that it fueled the true version of myself. It is a journey that I am still traveling on. It is a continuous process of being your authentic self because as we learn and grow, we change and must fall in love with new versions of ourselves that we are free to create over and over again. I can't tell you how many versions of myself that I have been already. They all carried their own distinct needs and purpose for that stage in life. Like snake skin, it sheds with growth and renews multiple times throughout the course of a lifetime. That is just how nature intended. So why do we fight it? For comfort, out of fear, guilt or self-punishment? No more!
Me being here with you as you are reading this, and me engaging with the many clients that I have is my purpose. I serve as a guide for others on their journey, and to change lives for the better through holistic and natural means. Being a therapist and life coach was very intentional. I am passionate about what I do and genuinely care about each and every one of you reading this. Based on my research, and what I know has worked for myself and my clients, I create products, curriculums and self-help materials for you to access so that you can define your true self and practice the art of healing. Having the tools and knowledge to do so is essential for life. Let me be the first to tell you that it should NOT take years of therapy and coaching to gain this knowledge and tools for self-healing. BUT it does take time to become efficient in using such tools and knowledge to become your very own healer. This should be just as a critical part of life as learning how to read, write, talk and look both ways when crossing the street. Life happens and none of us are exempt from the balance of life that is the ups and downs, and the joys and the sorrows. We must learn to free ourselves from the urge to resist change and to have an answer or understanding of everything happening right then and there. Letting go and being uncertain is ok. How fun would life be if we always knew what to expect. Seek to find comfort in the here and now. What will come will come and what will be, will be. All we can do is exercise our right to choose to be in the moment and to allow our thoughts and feelings to flow up and down without judgment or restraint just as nature does. Difficult times do not last forever. It is our inability to unstick ourselves that keeps us reliving traumas. To the contrary, good times do not last forever either. Do not set yourself up to crash after the high of goodness. Balance yourself in gratitude for all cycles. You are part of nature and a very much part of the duality it provides. Will you let go of the attachments and the coping mechanisms in exchange for flow and learning?
As a therapist and life coach I aim to put the power into your hands. You can do it! I believe in you! You are the generational curse breakers, the self-healers and the ones to modify cycles for the better. Life is a cycle and wish not to interrupt it but to set it straight in love and balance. Remember it is never too late to be who you really want to be and live the life that you want. I am here to assist with that. Thank you for trusting me to help you on your path towards health, wellness and balance!
Much love, light and healing to you all!
Keiana Ashley, MA